Self Care in Chaos

Every little mess in the house is bothering me.

It’s maddening. I’m pissed that I’m getting pissed about something as trivial as scattered toys, shoes, book bags, and blankets. But, I look at the mess and I have a visceral reaction.

I cannot escape the chaos for one second. I sweep the floors and turn around and see dust gathering on the TV stand. I walk into the bathroom, to wipe of the toothpaste that’s dried on the counter and notice the residue in the tub. I’m tired of cleaning.

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This isn’t a new emotional roller coaster. I’ve been on this ride many times. And now, I’d like to get off.

So, I’m going to bitch about it. I’m going to put it into perspective. And I’m going to change the ride. I will have a breakdown and cry. Because that’s how I purge my emotions. And after that, I’m going to find my happiness by doing things that I enjoy.

Sure, the chaos will still be there but my energy will be clear. At least, I hope.

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