On August 22nd, it is National Rainbow Baby. On this day, mothers share their experiences with grief, infertility, and pregnancy loss. It’s also a time to celebrate the beauty of birth after a loss.
My story with infertility began three years ago. Three years of broken hopes and a battered soul. Six miscarriages. Two dilations and evacuations. Countless ultrasounds and doctor appointments. It was the life of infertility, after having two children. A journey that I never believed I would endure.
She wasn’t the first rainbow baby that I began to celebrate, but she’s that one that stayed. Every movement, flutter, and kicks were tempting faith. I couldn’t love her until she was in my arms. It was a cursed blessing, feeling her grow but unsure if she would stay. But, here she is. Iris is my rainbow child.
The term rainbow baby is one that is born after a tragic loss; such as miscarriages and stillbirths. They are the hope and sunshine after a disastrous storm. Every time, I call out her name, I celebrate her life. Her name rejoices her birth. Iris was the name of the Greek Goddess of the rainbows, also serving as a messenger to the gods. She is a reminder of the strength and joy the universe has to offer, after the chaotic darkness.
A rainbow baby doesn’t remove the pain from the past, but it allows us to distract ourself from it. They don’t erase the sorrow, the tears, and sadness. By having a rainbow baby, they shine so brightly, and it’s hard to look behind into the past.
It’s cliche, but she has completed my story as a mother.