When We Doubt Our Love

To my husband,

It’s easy to forget the reasons why we feel in love when the chaos of the day preoccupies our mind. Our date nights are as common as the quietness in our home. The nights that both of our children do fall asleep on time and in sync, the night is are greeted with anticipation of snuggles, adult conversation, and finally eating that bowl of ice cream before it melts or is gobbled away from little Vultures. On rare occasions this plan works out … wait, that is a lie. It is more of a scene out of a horror film. Zombies stagger to straighten the house, moan while picking up toys, gurgle when finding out there is clothes in the washing machine, and shuffle to sit comfortably. Only to be awaken an hour later with creaks in our bones and dry mouths from snoring.  Our intentions are well. Our priorities are slightly miss guided.

Then, there it is. The flutter in my stomach. The memories surge in like a wave bringing the stories we forget to relive. The nights that were spent talking until the alarm clocked buzzed in the morning. The moments of quietness in the morning along with our breakfast and coffee. The conversations that were never interrupted. But those fairy tale moments have relinquished their titles.

The new contenders become the moments as you soar our sons through the air, letting them believe they can fly. The arms that become strong as you lift your crying son. The face that is adorned with sandpaper hair as you tirelessly put the boys into bed.

Our fairy tale has transformed into missed moments of intimacy as we wearily try to keep up with our energetic boys.  The mornings have become choreographed movements while trying to avoid stepping on landmines. This is our story. A story, we’ve created and  are write together, even at times separate. There are times that can’t be erased or rewritten. We’ll forge new chapters as the boys grow into men. Our love will continuously morph for the era it embarks.

So, my dear husband. Our moments may be fleeting as we juggle this chaotic time, but it is never ending.

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